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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28631544">Once again, I am lost.</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account'>orphan_account</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Pocket Monsters: Sword &amp; Shield | Pokemon Sword &amp; Shield Versions</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Beet | Bede Needs a Hug, Crying, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, I'm sorry Bede</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 11:28:54</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,192</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28631544</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Bede had been in the Glimwood Tangle, training his pokemon for tomorrow’s challengers since Opal was taking care of today’s, when his phone buzzed. The fairy gym leader didn’t notice as he called for another Dazzling Gleam from his Hatterne.<br/>After about thirty minutes he sat down on the grass next to his things. His team played around him as he pulled out his water bottle and took a long sip. Wiping the sweat off his forehead, Bede picks his phone up from the grass, noticing the new messages from Gloria. </p><p>    <strong>Conversation with: Skwovet</strong><br/><em> Today at !2:56 PM</em><br/><strong> Skwovet: </strong>Bede! Get to Wydon’s hospital<br/><strong> Skwovet: </strong>Something's happened to Opal</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Beet | Bede &amp; Poplar | Opal, Beet | Bede &amp; Yuuri | Gloria</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Once again, I am lost.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Bede had been in the Glimwood Tangle, training his pokemon for tomorrow’s challengers since Opal was taking care of today’s, when his phone buzzed. The fairy gym leader didn’t notice as he called for another Dazzling Gleam from his Hatterne.<br/>
After about thirty minutes he sat down on the grass next to his things. His team played around him as he pulled out his water bottle and took a long sip. Wiping the sweat off his forehead, Bede picks his phone up from the grass, noticing the new messages from Gloria. </p><p>    <strong>Conversation with: Skwovet</strong><br/>
<em> Today at !2:56 PM</em><br/>
<strong> Skwovet: </strong>Bede! Get to Wydon’s hospital<br/>
<strong> Skwovet: </strong>Something's happened to Opal</p><p>He shot up and quickly put his pokemon back in their balls despite their protests. He gathered all his things into his bag and took off through the thick foliage of the Tangle. He was out of breath by the time he got back to Ballonea, only stopping for a minute to drop his pokemon at the house she shared with Ms. Opal before running out again, earning weird looks from the people he passed. He reached a Corviknight Taxi and was on his way. Anxiety eating at him as he traveled.<br/>
The automatic hospital doors opened and the platinum-haired boy ran inside the building. After quickly talking to the receptionist, he swiftly made his way to the nearby elevators and rode up to the designated floor.<br/>
Stepping out of the box, he saw the other gym leaders had already gathered and were standing around. Some looked like they had been crying. He spotted the former champion, Leon, among them. The somber looks on their faces turned to pity when they saw the fairy gym leader. “What happened?” He demanded. No one spoke up immediately. The already gloomy mood of the floor lobby became suffocating until finally a small voice cleared her throat and got up from where she had been sitting.<br/>
Gloria made her way up to him, holding a small white envelope in her hand. She had obviously been crying. “ I’m so sorry Bede,” her voice cracked and she sniffed. “ S-she wanted me to give this to you before...,” she held out the envelope and trailed off. He accepted the letter but before she could retreat he grabbed her wrist to prevent her from leaving. “Gloria. Please. What happened to her? Why can’t she give it to me herself?” The champion began to cry silent tears as she took breath, why did she have to tell him?<br/>
“ She’s gone..” she said quietly and Bede felt like he had been hit by a truck. His eyes widened. ‘That.. couldn’t be.. He had talked to her just this morning. She couldn’t be gone. She was in good health for her age.’ His mind raced as Gloria sighed, “ She was battling a challenger.. I don’t know exactly what happened but one of the attacks hit her, it wasn’t much but she was just so old.”<br/>
He couldn’t hear her anymore. The letter in his hands felt heavy as he stared at his name on the front written in Opal’s elegant handwriting. He felt like he was going to vomit. Opal.. Why? He handled most of the challengers but she always insisted that he take a few days off and let her handle the gym duties despite his protests. She was going to retire permanently within the month. <em>How could this have happened?</em><br/>
He looked up slowly, shaking slightly at the news. The others around him exchanged worried whispers about how he was taking it all in. Pity in their eyes. Gloria was still in front of him, searching his face with a concerned expression. He took in a shaky breath. He refused to lose his composure in front of the other gym leaders and champion. “May I see her?” he asked, Gloria nodded and led him to a room across the hall, opening the door to let him in before returning to the others waiting outside.<br/>
The room’s overhead lights were off, the light coming from the open window. He saw her still form and clenched his teeth. His footsteps were deafening as he walked closer. She looked peaceful, a small smile seemed to still be on her lips. It was still too hard to believe it to be true. He so badly wanted this to all be a nightmare and he’d wake up soon but he knew as soon he felt her cold hand that it was not a dream. She was really gone. He had lost his family a second time. Hot tears streamed down his face once more but he didn’t bother to hide them. His body began to shake as gasping sobs filled the room. </p><p>
  <em>It wasn’t fair.</em>
</p><p>“ Why? Why did you leave me? You were going to retire soon! How could this happen?!” He closed his hands into fists, stuck close to his sides as he stood besides the body of her former mentor. “ It isn’t fair. We still had so much to do together. Why did it have to be you Nana?” His frustration grew, fear and sadness fueling the fire. He broke down. Tears and snot ran down his face as he sobbed for the only family he had to come back. To not leave him behind. But it was futile.<br/>
He wasn’t sure how long he’d been there but he had long since run out of tears. A soft knock at the door reminded him that he could probably be heard by the others outside. “Come in,” he quickly said he rubbed his red, puffy eyes. Gloria stood in the doorway, she seemed to have collected herself but the devastated look in her eyes remained. Bede knew she and the former fairy gym leader were close enough to occasionally get together to have tea but he didn’t know the full extent of their relationship.<br/>
“Hey... “ she began, “Everyone else left already. Figured you wouldn’t want them to overhear what you were saying.” She walked over to stand beside him. He took a breath to say something but the words disappeared on his tongue. The brunette wrapped her slender arms around him for the second time that day, Bede welcomed the hug. He felt empty, self-loathing and sadness swirled inside of him and he wrapped his arms around the champion.<br/>
They stood like that for a minute before separating. “Thank you. For staying here,” Bede said, rubbing the back of his shirt over his eyes. “I wanted to stay and see how you were doing,” Gloria replied, taking his other hand in hers, “The hospital staff has been patient with us and let us stay but they have to take care of her now. We have to go soon.” Bede nodded solemnly and let her lead the two of them out of the room. He looked over his shoulder once more before closing the door and following the champion out of the building. He felt like he left a piece of his heart back inside that room.<br/>
She led him through the park nearby and sat them down on an empty bench. Her hand still wrapped around his. “I miss her,” Bede began, “I… I never got to say goodbye.” She squeezed his hand reassuringly, “She was an amazing mentor, she loved you, you know. A lot. Have you read the letter she left for you?” Bede fished the letter out of his pocket, staring at the white envelope. “I can’t bring myself to just yet. Maybe later.” Being close to each other comforted them a little bit. They chatted for a little bit, Gloria rested her head on his shoulder as they did. “Bede, it’s getting late,” Gloria commented. “So it is,” Bede sighed. “I’m going to head back to Ballonea, I’ll see you later.” The champion waved goodbye as her friend walked off, leaving her alone on the bench with her thoughts.<br/>
He felt numb as he flew back, walking instead of running back to thei- no, now his, house. It felt empty. Maybe she should have asked Gloria to come back with him. As he took a step inside, his Hatterne flew out of her pokeball and let out a cry. She faced her trainer, trilling softly, as she noted his expression. The emotions radiated off of him in powerful waves, but it wasn’t anger. Her trainer sighed, looking around, it was as if he didn’t ever see his partner. She tried to retouch out with her tentacle but he brushed the pokemon off, “ Just…. Not now Hatterne,” he said flatly as he went up the creaky stairs and into his room. His hatterne returned herself to her ball.<br/>
He flopped on his bed, exhaustion sweeping over him. His mind was foggy, he wanted nothing more than to sleep and forget about everything that had happened. He’d lost his mentor, his guidance, his family for a third time. His heart ached and he thought about what he would do now as he fell asleep.<br/>
He dreamt of his original parents, the car crash that had orphaned him, his experiences with Rose, and Opal now gone too. Everyone he had ever called his family was gone. He was alone in a dark world. He woke up in a cold sweat, wanting desperately to not remind himself of the past but it kept flashing behind his eyes.<br/>
His heart was racing and his mind far away, lost in the past. He wasn’t aware of his hands as they took his phone from the bedside table and called a familiar number. It was only after Gloria picked up and said his name did he realize his actions. “ Gloria,” he breathed out, voice shaky. “Are you okay? It’s really late,” she responded. “I’m sorry, uhm.. Did I wake you?” he asked hesitantly. She let out a soft chuckle, “ No, I couldn’t sleep so I’ve just been reading this book Hop got me last year but I never got around to it till now. How are you holding up?”<br/>
“I’m fine,” he lied, “I- I apologize again for calling, I don’t why I did. I suppose I just want someone to be around right now,” he smiled but it fell after an instant. His breath hitched, and he heard the shuffling of clothing on the other side of the line. “Gloria, what are you doing?”<br/>
“I’m coming to Ballonea,” she answered simply. He heard a door shut and her calling out her corviknight. “What! Gloria! Stop that, I don’t need any-” She cut him off, “You’re lying. I can hear your voice shaking, did something happen?” Of course, she’d know, she was Gloria. She may be reckless but she wasn’t oblivious. “It’s nothing. Just- just a nightmare, nothing more.” Bede replied.<br/>
“Hm,” was all she said before the connection was cut and Bede was left holding his phone in confusion. It was only a little bit before there was a sharp knock at his door. Bede got up, realizing he hadn’t even changed his clothes out of the gym outfit he had been wearing earlier, and went downstairs to open the door. True to her word, there she was. Her Corviknight’s pokeball in her hand. “Gloria-,” he began when she brushed past him into the house without a word. “Hey! Gloria!” The young gym leader shut the door and turned to face a red faced champion. “Before you say anything, yes, this was necessary. Come on,” she grabbed his hand before he could protest and sat them both down on the couch in the living room.<br/>
She stared intently at him, “We don’t have to talk about it but I don’t want to leave you alone through this. I should have stayed with you earlier, I’m sorry I didn’t. I thought it was best to give you some time to yourself, you seemed like you wanted it but I see now that it was a mis-” it was his turn to cut her off with a hug.<br/>
“Thank you for coming here. I didn’t want to admit it but I don’t want to be alone either.” Her arms snaked around him to hug him back, they sat in the comfortable embrace for a while before Gloria pulled away,”So. Do you want to talk about it?” He shook his head, “No, I’d rather just watch a movie and forget about it all.” She nodded and grabbed the remote from off the table in front of them, “ Then let’s do just that.”<br/>
She picked out a cheesy romantic comedy that made him want to throw up. Not to mention that Gloria got invested in the storyline and decided to burst her thoughts out every few minutes. Despite the distractions, as he sat next to Gloria, close enough that their knees touched, he could feel himself growing tired. Of course he would have to answer media questions, gain control of the fairy gym, and more in Opal’s absence but at least in this moment, he could relax and just enjoy himself.<br/>
His eyes shut and he fell asleep just in time to hear Gloria shout at the tv once more.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I do plan on writing a second part to this story, but I wanted to push what I had out there.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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